My Top 5 Books for People in Identity Crisis
Whether we arrive at an identity crisis by way of loss, burnout, a depression, getting fired, having kids, or some other significant life event,
most of us will experience at least one in our lives: a period when who we’ve been no longer fits, but who we’re becoming isn’t clear. When our old sources of self, meaning, or purpose have stopped working, but the new ones haven’t formed yet.
As someone who has been through this process and supports clients through it daily, I know that making sense of an identity crisis—and finding clarity in the midst of it—are both crucial.
By making sense, I mean: Why did this happen? What’s going on inside of me? Is what I’m experiencing normal? What are the phase of an identity crisis, and what should I expect?
And by finding clarity, I mean: What do I really want? What should I choose? What should my North Star be during this time of confusion? How do I find the courage to act?
My top 5 books for people in identity crisis offer answers to these questions and help us finding meaning, clarity, and direction in the midst of a destabilizing time.
Collectively, these books normalize that identity crisis isn’t a “flaw” or a “failure” of our life story— but in fact, a very necessary part of it.
📚 We read a few of these in the Hustle to Heart Bookclub: my intimate bookclub of high achievers daring to trade burnout and achievement-chasing for presence, meaning, and vitality.
📚 We’re now enrolling in the January 2026 cohort—so if you’re seeking deeper community, thought-provoking conversations, and ongoing learning in a crew that grows with you, click here to learn more and save your spot.
#1: The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness by Emily Esfahani Smith
For many, an identity crisis includes realizing that our old sources of meaning—the things that gave our lives a sense of purpose, direction, and depth—no longer feel true.
The Power of Meaning is an inspiring and uplifting read that demystifies the four places from which humans across cultures get a sense of meaning. It helps explain why many of us feel untethered from meaning in modern life—and offers a clear road map for how to cultivate a life rooted in lasting fulfillment, not fleeting happiness.
The Power of Meaning is the first book we read in the Hustle to Heart Bookclub, beginning in January 2026. Click here to learn more and enroll.
#2. Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler
Bruce Feiler interviewed hundreds of people in the midst of identity crisis, resulting in Life is in the Transitions: a book combining hundreds of relatable stories with clear frameworks for what to expect during periods of big change.
Feiler writes that we’re taught that life will unfold linearly—but that’s just not true. On average, we tend to spend 20-25 years of our lives in phases of “falling apart” at work, in love, and in community—and learning how to navigate those phases with grace is a crucial skill.
Feiler shares a framework for the phases of transition (the Long Goodbye, the Messy Middle, and the New Beginning)—tells us what to expect in each—and offers tools to cope. Crucially, his work explores how transitions shape our understanding of what makes life meaningful. For me, Feiler’s explorations at the intersection of life transition and meaning are what set his work apart. (We read Life is in the Transitions in the Hustle to Heart Bookclub, too. Click here to learn more.)
#3. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing,” writes Pema Chödrön. “We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
When Things Fall Apart, by renowned Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, shares a Buddhist perspective on change, letting go, and starting anew. It offers no simple answers, but normalizes that life is an ongoing series of changes—and learning how to ride those waves of change without clinging too tightly opens us to a new degree of heart and aliveness.
#4. No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz offers a life-changing framework for understanding the inner conflict that we tend to hold during life transitions and identity crisis.
One part of us wants what’s safe and familiar; another part wants to leave our old circumstances behind.
One part of us wants to push, work harder, and try more; another part is exhausted, resentful, and burned out.
No Bad Parts helps us make sense of all of these parts and tend to each with care. Offering an accessible and human overview to Internal Family Systems—the life-changing therapy modality that has helped millions—No Bad Parts teaches us how to feel whole and integrated, even in the midst of an identity crisis.
#5: Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges
Transitions is one of the most beloved books for those in identity crisis because it normalizes the process of change and demystifies its phases—offering ground, anchoring, and clarity in an otherwise disorienting time.
Author William Bridges shares his framework for the three stages of transition—The Ending, The Neutral Zone, and The New Beginning—and illustrates the difficulties, growing pains, and hidden beauties of each. It leaves readers feeling less alone in what we’re experiencing, and clearer about what to expect along the way.
I help high achievers in identity crisis find meaning and purpose beyond conventional success. You can read my story here. For support and guidance, consider working with me in private coaching. You can learn more about my approach, rates, and coaching process here.
Have a recommendation not mentioned on the list? Drop it in the comments below! 👇