The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner

The most impactful book about boundary-setting I’ve read to date. Lerner offers concrete frameworks for speaking truth in your relationships and walks you clearly through the process.

The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg

Rosenberg redefines codependency as ‘Self-Love Deficit Disorder’ and traces how codependents often find themselves drawn to narcissistic partners. This book helped me understand — and change — my patterns in my romantic relationships.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson

A fantastic read for those looking to understand how their upbringing affected their predisposition towards codependency. Gibson affirms that children need more than material demonstrations of care to feel adequately seen, heard, and understood.

Empowered Boundaries by Christien Storm

A comprehensive, innovative framework for boundary-setting that addresses the importance of boundaries at the individual, relational, and systemic level. I appreciate Storm’s intersectional, social justice-oriented approach to this work.

Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie

Beattie’s sequel to ‘Codependent No More’ moves us from recognizing our codependency to working with our codependency. Beattie offers tangible advice for addressing anxiety, over-controlling, fear of commitment, boundary-setting, and more.

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

‘Attached’ was a breath of fresh air. Levine & Heller gave me the language to explain my behaviors in my romantic relationships. I sighed with relief when I learned that practicing open communication could foster greater emotional security in my attachments.