A Surprising But Effective Way to Get Out Of A Shame Spiral

A Surprising But Effective Way to Get Out Of A Shame Spiral

My darkest shame spirals were also my most intensely self-indulgent moments. Even though I may have felt totally miserable, at the end of the day, it was still all about me: my wrongness, my badness, my words, my actions, my self-perceptions. When I mustered up the will to be of service, I was astounded by the serenity that came from acquiescing my role as the star of the show.

Read More

How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want

How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want

When we’re strongly connected to our dreams and desires, we begin to set boundaries with other people so we can reach them, and we slowly start finding the confidence to speak our truth. Our dreams and desires remind us how communicating authentically will change our lives, and the lives of our loved ones, for the better.

Read More

How to Set Better Boundaries in 2019: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers

How to Set Better Boundaries in 2019: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers

If you leave conflicts wishing you’d spoken up for yourself; if you feel drained in social situations because you feel like you’re performing; if you over-commit to obligations and under-commit to activities that bring you joy; if you agree to be intimate with people, but later regret your decision; if you feel like you give much more than you receive in your relationships: these nine tips can help you begin speaking—and living—your truth.

Read More

When Old Identities No Longer Serve You

When Old Identities No Longer Serve You

This case of shifting identity has been a teacher to me - yet another reminder of the impermanence that colors every moment of our lived experience. It’s taught me to interact with the world around me without feeling like I have to call it “mine.” Identities grow and shift like the wind, for some of us faster than others. As such, I would love to learn to hold on to my identities loosely: to reap the benefits of belonging when they serve me, and to thank them for their lessons when they leave me.

Read More

You Have To Feel It To Heal It: The Only Way Out Is Through

You Have To Feel It To Heal It: The Only Way Out Is Through

When we allow ourselves to fully experience painful or uncomfortable feelings, we are doing work. Sitting with our feelings instead of disengaging or distracting ourselves is work. Once we accept that we are doing work, we can silence our internal critic that believes that feeling pain means we’re “doing something wrong.” Instead, we begin to understand that feeling our pain is important and productive.

Read More

10 Amazing Things That Happen When You Kick Alcohol Out Of Your Life

10 Amazing Things That Happen When You Kick Alcohol Out Of Your Life

What began as a commitment to avoid hangovers became a commitment to getting in touch with my heart, a commitment to living in the present moment in spite of discomfort, and a commitment to experiences and people that make me feel fundamentally nourished and safe.

Read More

Everyone's Doing The Best That They Can

Everyone's Doing The Best That They Can

We don’t have to hit rock bottom in order to show ourselves compassion. We don’t need to be heartbroken, shattered, or at wit’s end. Maybe we’re just having a rough day. Maybe we’re feeling anxious. Believing that we are all doing the best that we can opens our hearts to kindness and compassion. It allows us to see one another as humans, flaws and all. 

Read More

9 Dos & Don’ts: How To Hold Space For Someone Who’s Hurting

9 Dos & Don’ts: How To Hold Space For Someone Who’s Hurting

We often believe it’s our job to solve others’ problems. But that’s not the case at all. Even though you may not be able to offer a solution to a loved one’s pain, you can meet her needs by offering space, support, and compassion. At the crux of the nine dos and don’ts is the simple premise that your role as a confidante is to listen with an open heart and provide emotional support—not solutions—to your loved one.

Read More

A Simple Trick To Declutter Your Life and Prioritize Your Soulfood

A Simple Trick To Declutter Your Life and Prioritize Your Soulfood

Decluttering my life has been a constant learning process. In a culture that rewards non-stop motion and falling in line, sometimes we forget that we have deciding power over how we spend our time. It's as important for us to declutter our mental space as it is to declutter our physical space - our closets, our bedrooms, our backpacks, and beyond - so every six months, to keep my priorities aligned with my values, I like to take a step back and declutter my life. Here’s how.

Read More