On The Road Issue 2: Studenthood in Seattle

On The Road Issue 2: Studenthood in Seattle

Greetings from the road! As y’all may have read in my last blog post, I am in the midst of a nomadic journey. In August, I left Boston to live on the road and continue working remotely as a Life Coach. Currently, I’m bunked in Seattle - specifically, the charming, eccentric neighborhood of Fremont. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me <3

Recently, I’ve been thinking of this journey as an opportunity to be a student. Generally, we think of ourselves as students when we’re in educational settings, learning hard skills like math, car repair, pie crust recipes - you get the idea. Sometimes we forget that all endeavors - particularly those that are unfamiliar - are teachers. Identifying as a student has helped me embrace the what-the-hell-am-I-doing sensation that accompanies trying something new - and I happen to be doing a lot of trying something new these days. And how relieving: to feel like it’s okay to learn instead of to know. This mindset has helped me stay curious and keep my mind open on the road. 

In September, I wrote about synchronicities. My first few weeks on the road, I experienced lucky coincidence after lucky coincidence. The mother of all synchronicities took place when a Seattle-based friend-of-a-friend offered me his one bedroom apartment while he travels in South America till November. Seattle was already sneaking its way into my heart, so when the option arose to stay twice as long as I’d originally intended - for virtually no money - I accepted without a thought. 

And so today, like many other days recently, I am cozily sipping coffee at Caffe Vita, the neighborhood coffeeshop steps from “my” front door. Instead of hostel-hopping each week - overhearing friendly strangers complain about their hangovers in German accents at breakfast and trying to find comfortable sleeping positions with earplugs stuffed in my ears - I’m staying in an apartment. With a kitchen. In a neighborhood that I adore. Four of my new friends live within a five-minute radius. Most days, I feel like I stepped into a ready-made life, complete with home, favorite coffeeshop, burgeoning social network, and some days, even boredom. It gives me a sense of what living in Seattle is actually like.

This month may not be the most quintessential “life on the road,” but damn, I love it. Monday through Wednesday, I live a pretty normal life: wake up, make coffee, have calls with my incredible clients, be a human. I spend the other four days a week exploring the humans and destinations of Seattle. My three favorite explorations thus far have been:

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On The Road Issue 1: Synchronicities in Seattle

On The Road Issue 1: Synchronicities in Seattle

A disclaimer: the tidbits that follow are merely snippets of my travels. Beautiful sights, heartwarming connections, Hailey-esque neuroses, and the little revelations that weave it all together.

So here's the skinny: I'm a personal coach and digital nomad, living out of my epic backpack while I travel throughout the US working remotely. I decided to hit the road because I wanted to grow in unexpected ways. I wanted to see who I became when I wasn’t entrenched in the routines, communities, and comfort zones that shaped my life in Boston.

The year preceding this journey was a wild year for me. That wildness was a culmination of pursuing my current career as a Life Coach; awakening through a rough breakup; working on my codependency; recommitting to sobriety daily; embracing my sex-positivity; building healthier relationships with friends and family; learning what my life could look like if I put myself first; and embracing spiritual growth. All of the good, crunchy stuff that splits you open and leaves you free to rise. Becoming fully location-independent was the final permission slip I needed to hit the road. So I leveled up and bought a one-way ticket out West. That’s where this begins.

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Everyone's Doing The Best That They Can

Everyone's Doing The Best That They Can

My favorite principle is this simple truth: Everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have. Adopting this belief has radically changed my relationship to myself and to others.

This idea has been explored by a constellation of religious, spiritual, and wellness practitioners. As Deepak Chopra said, “People are doing the best that they can from their own level of consciousness.”

At first, it's a hard concept for us to swallow. In a culture that constantly urges us to do more, to be better, and to excel,  “I'm doing the best that I can” sounds like complacency—like an excuse. But what if we took a step back from our culture's infinite growth paradigm and considered, “What if, right now, there is a limit to what I can achieve? Can I be okay with that?”…

Published on Tiny Buddha. Read here.

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To The Man Who "Doesn't Like Body Hair"

To The Man Who "Doesn't Like Body Hair"

I am done with my body being a site for people-pleasing.

Shaving.
Losing weight.
Gaining weight.
Running to the far end of town.
Using my mouth to satisfy.
Using my ears to listen to empty, egoic words.

For all my life, my body has belonged just as much to others as to myself—just as much to society as to myself—and you will never know what that feels like: to have the most rudimentary evidence of your own existence belong to someone else…

Published on Elephant Journal. Read here.

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9 Dos & Don’ts: How To Hold Space For Someone Who’s Hurting

9 Dos & Don’ts: How To Hold Space For Someone Who’s Hurting

Does this sound like you?

You experience something painful. It hurts. You feel anxious, angry, or frustrated, as if you’re on the verge of boiling over. So you self-isolate—sometimes for hours, sometimes for days—and wait for the pain to subside.

You don’t call a friend or a loved one, even though you know you technically could. You know that using your support network is supposed to enable your healing process, but you just can’t pick up the phone. The thought of having one of “those conversations” again is simply too exhausting…

Published on Elephant Journal. Read here.

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Hailey Magee on the Let The Music Set You Free Podcast: "Freedom From Expectations"

Hailey Magee on the Let The Music Set You Free Podcast: "Freedom From Expectations"

Listen to Let The Music Set You Free Episode 7: “Freedom From Expectations with Hailey Magee.”

Let The Music Set You Free is a movement started by Katie Dobbins. The Let The Music Set You Free Podcast brings musicians together to share stories and songs about setting ourselves free, with the hope that our message will empower you to break free from whatever has held you back.

In Episode 7, Katie Dobbins talks with singer-songwriter, Trailblazer Coach, and entrepreneur Hailey Magee about setting yourself free from expectations.

Credits:
Spoken by Katie Dobbins & Hailey Magee
Jeep Song by Katie Dobbins
This Beautiful Machine by Hailey Magee

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A Simple Trick To Declutter Your Life and Prioritize Your Soulfood

A Simple Trick To Declutter Your Life and Prioritize Your Soulfood

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more picky about how I spend my time. I spent my first 22 years doing things I thought I wanted: taking dense course-loads, working mind-numbing internships, and spending time with halfway friends. Of all my commitments, few genuinely lit me up inside. Most were voluntary “responsibilities” - Clutter - that I thought would advance my career or get me one step ahead in the world. (What I was racing towards, I’m not sure. I hadn’t yet realized that life was not a race.)

After a while, I burned out. I was sick of working toward goals that morphed into something grander the moment they came within my reach. I realized that I had a choice: I could spend my life robotically trying to achieve a nameless “something greater,” or I could intentionally design my life for present-moment happiness. (You can imagine which one I picked!)

I felt like I was waking up from a trance. For the first time, I was giving myself permission to declutter my schedule and design my life on my own terms (which now directly informs my women’s transformation coaching work.) Since then, I left my work in politics to become self-employed; bucked social norms and quit drinking; and left a permanent address behind to become a digital nomad. 

Decluttering my life has been a constant learning process. In a culture that rewards non-stop motion and falling in line, sometimes we forget that we have deciding power over how we spend our time. It's as important for us to declutter our mental space as it is to declutter our physical space - our closets, our bedrooms, our backpacks, and beyond - so every six months, to keep my priorities aligned with my values, I like to take a step back and declutter my life with my Life Jar. Here's how:

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poem: touch(love)

poem: touch(love)

i. collarbone
if i starve, will you love me better?
i’m so hungry all of the time.
no peanut butter, no milk, no pasta
i tiptoe on the scale like a ballerina and trace my collarbone in the mirror
i’m an archaeologist digging for love, but
i only find bone.

ii. lips
i’m so lonely. i get tired of performing.
i just want to escape for a while.
alcohol loosens my limbs and limbers my lips
gives me permission to scavenge for scraps of touch(love) 
beneath the naked moon
to eat greedily from the hands that feed me.
i’m so hungry all of the time.

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Love As The Foundation Of Social Change

Love As The Foundation Of Social Change

I retaliate against these [modern political] crises with love and community. It’s the only path that aligns with my values. It’s how I feel I can be most impactful.

Hurt, fear, anger, blame, violence, and the reduction of other beings to less-than-human are the tendencies underlying modern public debate. We can’t make the paradigm shift we need - right at the very roots of our hearts and culture - without building a foundation of change upon something radically different.

Aggression and division have developed a stronghold on modern, mainstream social justice communities. Folks who are not angry, unwavering, “renouncing,” and “calling out” are told they are not doing their duty as activists. But what about our duty to build a better world - not by shouting over evils, but by loving, caring, and acting compassionately in our communities?

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